i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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