tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
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They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
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I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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