so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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