so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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