Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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