Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
whose ass print is on the piano?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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