we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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