before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
