Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
