Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize