ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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