oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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