the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
