i think i have herpe
just one?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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