Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Randomize
