I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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