You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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