pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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