it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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