I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
