I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
