Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
