Tell her she can't have a vagina
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
