Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
