Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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