you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping