He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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