8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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