Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
