There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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