Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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