Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I understand Curling. That high.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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