I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
