Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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