Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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