Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she peed on how many people?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
