well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
