3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
