We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
