your parents love me but you hate me
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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