its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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