I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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