Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
