Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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