Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
