i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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