I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
