that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
