I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
