do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
