are you still at the devil's house?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
