A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
