That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."