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• (818): View more from California

  Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.

  Fav 39 1123 3353

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.

  Fav 18 897 4890

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.

  Fav 85 13397 1848

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits

  Fav 15 1224 4276

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!

  Fav 15 1268 1503

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.

  Fav 6 1589 742

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."

  Fav 4 935 563

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.

  Fav 2 954 539

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day

  Fav 6 590 1251

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home

  Fav 3 382 158

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.

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