Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies

(815): View more from Illinois

Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.

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(312): omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies (815): Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more. http://tfl.nu/camm

Replies (13) Good night (1051) Bad night (1937)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?

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(816): Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king? http://tfl.nu/6ro0

Replies (17) Good night (731) Bad night (3188)
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(514): View more from Quebec

I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.

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(514): I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened. http://tfl.nu/bvmz

Replies (154) Good night (684) Bad night (2817)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.

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(414): My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday. http://tfl.nu/h79n

Replies (10) Good night (4333) Bad night (1135)
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(904): View more from Florida

the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing

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(904): the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing http://tfl.nu/38nr

Replies (2) Good night (3282) Bad night (1107)
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(269): View more from Michigan

If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you

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(269): If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you http://tfl.nu/cez4

Replies (5) Good night (1983) Bad night (842)
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(347): View more from New York

In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.

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(347): In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well. http://tfl.nu/gd78

Replies (5) Good night (894) Bad night (600)
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(425): View more from Washington

Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.

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(425): Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage. http://tfl.nu/p8gy

Replies (13) Good night (569) Bad night (2163)
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(613): View more from Ontario

The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"

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(613): The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO" http://tfl.nu/6o6m

Replies (3) Good night (833) Bad night (627)
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(302): View more from Delaware

It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead

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(302): It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead http://tfl.nu/d4qx

Replies (3) Good night (1011) Bad night (401)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.

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(832): after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations. http://tfl.nu/2l5l

Replies (14) Good night (1630) Bad night (510)
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(703): View more from Virginia

there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face

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(703): there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face http://tfl.nu/al6a

Replies (2) Good night (714) Bad night (566)
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(850): View more from Florida

My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container

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(850): My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container http://tfl.nu/jd1a

Replies (10) Good night (741) Bad night (445)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.

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(816): I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo. http://tfl.nu/f2jj

Replies (8) Good night (669) Bad night (374)
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(904): View more from Florida

You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.

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(904): You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on. http://tfl.nu/d3w2

Replies (0) Good night (683) Bad night (307)

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