Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?

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(607): View more from New York

Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless

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(559): View more from California

I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(734): View more from Michigan

He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.

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(217): View more from Illinois

It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.

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(540): View more from Virginia

"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.

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