with your own penis?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
grandma shit on top of the toilet
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood