Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.