Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.

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  (401): My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study. http://tfl.nu/037f
  Replies (17) Good night (2555) Bad night (740)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  that makes sense.

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  (850): the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you... (1-850): that makes sense. http://tfl.nu/5jmk
  Replies (16) Good night (7442) Bad night (910)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.

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  (845): Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials. http://tfl.nu/bzpv
  Replies (32) Good night (1075) Bad night (4831)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before

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  (518): I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before http://tfl.nu/9107
  Replies (20) Good night (5432) Bad night (1356)
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  (315): View more from New York

  They're like penises that have been put in a blender.

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  (315): They're like penises that have been put in a blender. http://tfl.nu/9hz0
  Replies (25) Good night (793) Bad night (5320)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?

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  (781): Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink? http://tfl.nu/6hyx
  Replies (6) Good night (2308) Bad night (760)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?

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  (212): Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'? http://tfl.nu/4fhn
  Replies (18) Good night (1882) Bad night (888)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.

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  (914): Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night. http://tfl.nu/nj6b
  Replies (3) Good night (2287) Bad night (639)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg

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  (614): We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg http://tfl.nu/vi48
  Replies (3) Good night (1787) Bad night (599)
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  (626): View more from California

  The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking

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  (626): The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking http://tfl.nu/7x03
  Replies (12) Good night (1578) Bad night (688)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight

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  (251): when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight http://tfl.nu/vlsg
  Replies (14) Good night (1178) Bad night (2473)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.

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  (816): Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire. http://tfl.nu/gpak
  Replies (5) Good night (1098) Bad night (702)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place

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  (306): just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place http://tfl.nu/2srt
  Replies (4) Good night (613) Bad night (366)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night

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  (508): My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night http://tfl.nu/kcjw
  Replies (3) Good night (993) Bad night (350)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like

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  (705): its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like http://tfl.nu/rqvs
  Replies (1) Good night (357) Bad night (130)

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