it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
you had me at cake vodka
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn