Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober

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  (608): I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober http://tfl.nu/eoub
  Replies (27) Good night (4597) Bad night (734)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.

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  (214): He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome. http://tfl.nu/msec
  Replies (10) Good night (4551) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.

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  (717): can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill. http://tfl.nu/zd59
  Replies (18) Good night (1183) Bad night (5116)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!

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  (410): Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!! http://tfl.nu/gjd6
  Replies (8) Good night (4722) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  wrong asian. never thought that would happen.

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  (401): wrong asian. never thought that would happen. http://tfl.nu/96tp
  Replies (16) Good night (1324) Bad night (4018)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.

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  (813): She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus. http://tfl.nu/fd89
  Replies (19) Good night (7382) Bad night (1238)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.

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  (205): I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine. http://tfl.nu/wlnl
  Replies (50) Good night (2506) Bad night (7919)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.

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  (508): Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day. http://tfl.nu/pq24
  Replies (12) Good night (7418) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.

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  (810): There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry. http://tfl.nu/kj1j
  Replies (2) Good night (2972) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.

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  (678): Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago. http://tfl.nu/b245
  Replies (13) Good night (1599) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?

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  (724): My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's? http://tfl.nu/cp3t
  Replies (14) Good night (2591) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...

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  (469): I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom... http://tfl.nu/pwb7
  Replies (9) Good night (1173) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Pics or STFU

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  (617): Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward. (1-617): Pics or STFU http://tfl.nu/b1yq
  Replies (5) Good night (1054) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.

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  (323): In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink. http://tfl.nu/5x8b
  Replies (5) Good night (815) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time

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  (703): We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time http://tfl.nu/duhp
  Replies (0) Good night (540) Bad night (261)

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