Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
