Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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