This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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