i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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