ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
