absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Someone signed my nipple.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
