I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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