my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
