Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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