Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I touched a dick in church today
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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