Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
