no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
