I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.