hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.