Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."

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(785): View more from Kansas

it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..

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(316): View more from Kansas

she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.

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(440): View more from Ohio

just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.

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The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(715): View more from Wisconsin

You're barking up the wrong lesbian.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit

(978): View more from Massachusetts

no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it

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(248): View more from Michigan

Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.

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