I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize