Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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