I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Never underestimate the power of titties
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
