I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
only if we run a train.
done.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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