So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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